I almost died laughing. It must be a joke and it must have been sent to the wrong person. But oddly, it was signed B.B. at the end of the message. Funny, it fits the initials of Blue Blonde. But she couldn’t have known my nickname for her – Blue Blonde.
From inside the taxi, I watched Blue Blonde walk away.
“HAH! Run away now, Blue Blonde! I will not be a lesbian!” I said loudly.
“Excuse me, miss. Where to?” said the taxi driver with an Indian accent.
“Sorry. Venetia Co., please.”
The taxi driver gave me a frown before he pulled away from the kerb. Well, I suppose he thought I was crazy to be shouting at someone when nobody but only he and I could hear.
The casting was a huge success. I, Amber Clarke, would be the lead model in the most glamorous shoot in Miami for Vogue magazine. I was so excited!
At the shooting in VIP beach, I could not resist boasting a little, so I told my co-workers about me going to be in Vogue. They were all screaming in excitement and congratulating me. I could tell by their faces that they were all so envious! Indeed, I felt the pride.
Suddenly, I saw Blue Blonde standing next to a coconut tree with her arms folded, wearing a look that resembled that on my baby sister’s face when she was told she had to put away her Barbie dolls and go to bed instead.
I ignored it once again and went to the warm sea water and did my photo shoot. Joshua, the photographer was an excellent photographer. He always captured the moments and was great at communicating with the models.
Later that evening, Alex picked me up from my flat for dinner at Tidal Wave Restaurant. I was in my new maxi dress with stacked metallic bangles on my wrist and dangling feather earrings. I held on tightly to Alex’s arms as we walked into the restaurant. This was our second date and I was still pretty excited.
“You smell lovely, Amber”, whispered Alex when we walked into Tidal Wave. My new perfume, Orange by Hugo Boss worked! I wanted to jump up and down and run around in circles. Well, I had a body of a skinny model, but I was still a little kid at heart. I was already thankful that that was going to keep me young in the future.
Alex was such charming gentleman with a dirty blonde Zac Effron hairstyle and the cutest dimples. If any girl met Alex, she would be head over heels… instantly! Lesbians would even turn straight if they ever met Alex! That was if they had the chance to be in his penthouse watching Alex work out. He has the sexiest washboard accompanied with toned biceps and triceps. Oh, how it tingled when I thought about it!
What a lovely dinner we had. And getting to know each other was the best part. Oh, did I tell you that Tidal Wave served the most delicious Crème Brule? Oh! And they had a great taste in music too! They had 2 local bands playing that night called All Time Low and Carolina Liar. They were my among my favourite bands! Alex knew that and took me here on purpose! I was so fortunate to even get to be in the same restaurant as them! I bought their albums and got signatures. Alex was so thoughtful! Anyway, after all the best parts, we walked out of Tidal Wave and towards the nearby park. We sat on the freshly mowed grass and talked some more.
He had love written all over his face and out of nowhere, he gave me the most passionate kiss. I felt adrenaline rush through every part of my body while a familiar song started to play in my head. It went like this ‘Is it over now, hey? It’s not over now? I wanna be your last first kiss.’ Ah, Inevitable, sang by Anberlin. I loved that band so much.
After eternity, we pulled away reluctantly from each other.
Softly, he whispered to me by my ear, ‘Would you be my girlfriend?’
If this was the curse the blonde girl was telling me about, it must be the best curse ever! My body was tingling with excitement, my stomach was filled with butterflies and I was pretty nervous. I wanted to think but my mind was blank and I found myself saying “yes, yes” immediately. Alex was my first sweetheart! I was so excited!
“You’re blushing,” he said.
“So are you!” I said, giggling.
Well, though I was gorgeous looking and also Miss Popular back in college, I had never agreed to be anyone’s love before this. Nobody but Alex fitted my ideal boyfriend image of a matured, smart and sexy gentleman.
Alex drove me home and held the car door open for me. He gave me another long passionate kiss before we parted and asked me to attend another charity party with him.
Excited and already missing him, I hugged him goodbye. Something made me look up and horrors, I saw Blue Blonde staring at me from a distance.
This was too much. BB sure knew how to get on my nerves. I thought to myself, as soon as Alex drives off, I would go over, slap her and demand that she leave me alone. But I did not want my first boyfriend to think I love having cat fights with random strange people.
After my awesome-lovely-sweet-cute new boyfriend left, Blue Blonde came up to me. I was ready to slap her face when she gestured me to wait first.
I yelled, “What do you want from me?”
“Wait! I just wanted to say goodbye. I will stay hidden in the back of your mind,” she said.
I yelled again, “Get lost! If I ever see you again, I swear I will..”
“I get it, okay? You turned me down and it will be over. You have Ben already. Club Perspire and I will be gone. I promise!”
“How did you..” I said. I was so puzzled. How did she know Ben’s name? I did not tell me anything about Ben. Maybe I was drunk that night.
She interrupted my thoughts and said, “I know many things about you that you don’t wish to know. So, goodbye Ambz. I’ll be gone. Forget me and Club Perspire.”
“I obviously will! I do not wish to have anything to do with you, Miss.. Miss..”
“Natasha is the name. A.K.A. Blue Blonde.”
She turned and walked away. How did she know I nick named her Blue Blonde! Then to my shock, I saw that she was wearing the same maxi dress as I was wearing and a similar pair of black and silver peep-toe heels. She even had her hair tied into a neat French twist, held with a silver clip with strands of stray hair at the sides of her face. Just like mine.
Actually, I was startled to see she looked like me. She was me! Down to the high cheekbones and the tall lanky body. But whoever or whatever she was, that was the last I saw of her. She was out of my life and gone for good. But this was definitely a chapter of my life that I would never forget.
I went inside Palm Court Country Club and headed for the restaurant. Natalie and Katz were already there, signalling me to come over. Smiling, I walked there and sat between them.
“I miss you!” we said in unision.
“You are so paying for our lunch today!” said Natalie.
“Nat’s right! Anyway, I was just telling Nat that I’m finally getting married to Mr. Darcy!” said Katz.
“OH, MY GOD! Mr Darcy? You mean The Mr Darcy, Ryan Collins? I’m so happy for you, Katz! I have to be your bridesmaid!” I screamed excitedly. It felt wonderful to know that Katz was finally getting married! Ryan Collins, her boyfriend of 5 years, had asked her to marry him during their 5th anniversary celebration.
We spent an hour updating each other on the latest events and gossips. It was so good to bond with and chat with the girls. We exchanged secrets and happenings but no matter how great friends we were, I swore I would never, ever to let them know I had a tiny fling with a girl.
After lunch, I went down town and went on a shopping spree. I badly needed a dress for my date with Alex, a hot cutie whom I met at a charity party held by his company. He often invited the Jenn Models Company (JMC) as he and the JMC CEO were close friends.
I bought so many items such Chanel’s latest Rouge Allure Extrait De Gloss, a black Topshop body con skirt, a red bustier from Mango and a bow belt from Banana Republic. At half past three in the afternoon, I was in August 8 trying out the 100th dress. Making the assistant work hard was one of the best bits about shopping. After all, it was her job to keep customers like me, happy. After a long time, I decided to get the cotton floral maxi dress. The assistant wiped her forehead with relief. Noticing her relief, I made her get me pair of sunglasses… just for fun.
She came running to me, panting and passed the sunglasses to me.
“Eeek, what a horrid colour! And they’re sticky and icky! Take them back!” I said.
I was pretty sure she felt like killing me. Laughing hard inside, I paid for my dress and made my way out of August 8. Outside the door, I burst out laughing.
Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and my face turned a paler shade of white. It was her. Blue Blonde. Oh no, what does she think she’s doing? I ran and hailed a taxi. When one stopped for me, I turned but she was nowhere to be found.
My stomach did a few quick summersaults. Suddenly, she appeared again and whispered in my ear about how she loved my attitude and that she wanted to recruit me into Club Perspire. In her husky voice, she said the women there would be all over me, and I could earn at least US$8,000 per week.
That much? Tempting. But I stopped myself nodding and told her I was going to be a supermodel, not a kinky pole dancer in a gay club. Quickly, I got into the taxi, for fear she would hurt me. I could hear her saying, “CURSES TO YOU!”.
‘IT’S DISGUSTING HOW I LOVE YOU. GOD, I HATE ME. I COULD KILL YOU..’
A new text message arrived. I took my BlackBerry out and read it. Oh, I really loved my new message alert sound. It’s a first verse of the song Disgusting by Kesha.
‘Reject me one more time, and you will be cursed!’
I ignored the lipstick stain on the sleeve of my off-white, empire cut chiffon cocktail dress hanging on the vintage chair in my room. It looked like my crimson red lipstick. Without doubt it must have been from one of the dancers at last night’s party.
It was already mid morning when I woke up. Sleepily, I took a long look at the cute blonde girl I hooked up with last night. She had long straight blonde hair which kind of looked like mine. While staring at her in adoration, I replayed our fling last night in my mind. We had a few drinks in my room and listened to Late Night Alumni while we cuddled and shared secrets. Late Night Alumni was the perfect choice as they had the sexiest jazz music ever. We were both having so much fun.
“Close my eyes. You still be here with me. Close my eyes. The sunrise comes too soon..” we sang together.
This blonde was really beautiful and had such a lovely mysterious voice. She was wild and so much fun! We had so much in common too! Oh well, it’s time for her to leave as I was done with her. I did not want any strings attached because if anyone found out, my reputation will stink and my dreams of being the world’s top supermodel will never happen! I really wanted to be like Naomi Campbell mix Miranda Kerr!
Well, the thing was, I was being very adventurous. I wanted so badly to know what it was like to have a homosexual relationship! So the night before, I went to a gay party at Club Perspire.
Hush, nobody was to know about it but boy, it was such an experience!
‘Oh I can see now that all of these clouds are following me and my desperate endeavour and to find my whoever. Wherever she may be..’
Startled, I quickly turned off my alarm clock and woke the darling blonde up. I handed over her electric blue butterfly dress and told her to scram. I was a little rude and grouchy with a hint of fear inside me. I was afraid my roommate would see this Blondie dressed only her knickers. When I told her to scram, she gave me a long glare.
“Curses! Curse you! And to think we could have had a chance together! Curses!” she swore.
She snatched her dress from me, put it on and grabbed her small polka dotted purse. She headed for the front door. I felt bad about having been so rude, so I took out some cash and opened the door for her.
I handed her the money and said sorry but she spat at me. Yes, she spat and threw the money back to me. I went bonkers and pushed her out of the house. I slammed the door me and locked it. I stood there for a minute trying hard to recall the Blondie’s name.
“Annabelle, no. Indiana, no. Oh, whatever. I shall name her Blue Blonde and BB for short!”
Giggling at my small pathetic joke, I turned on the radio and headed for the bathroom. A nice hot shower was exactly what I needed. Singing to the beats of Flo Rida’s latest sing
le, I wrapped myself in a towel, did a little dance and went to get changed. One great thing about the flat was that it was newly renovated and had a really cool wooden walk-in closet between my room and my roommate’s. I guessed the previous owner was real vain and probably had a Mercedes in the garage and 20 pairs of Jimmy Choos and Louboutins. Well, there was a huge shoe cupboard in the corner of the closet. I picked an oversized white pr
inted T-shirt and black leggings and hastily wore them. Then I sat down at the dresser to comb my straight platinum blonde mane and to apply light make up.
There was plenty of time before my casting at Venetia Co. at 4pm that day, so I decided to walk to Palm Court Country Club. I put on my favourite gladiator shoes and turned on my iPod and plugged the earphones into my ears. I planned my agenda for the day while singing to the beautifully written lyrics by Secondhand Serenade. Darn, I was such a sucker for sentimental music and was so good at multi-tasking.
“Hmm.. Take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are. You called me a stranger, you said I’m a danger. But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight..”
So this was the schedule: Lunch with Natalie and Katz, shopping, model casting, shooting at the VIP Beach and a hot date with Alex. Satisfied with my organisational skills, I continued my journey to Palm Court Country Club when, from the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar blonde haired figure walking the same direction as me at the other side of the road…
One of the best thing about being a youth today is the amount of knowledge available at the tip of my fingers! Using Google alone gives me the opportunity to look for all kinds of information including school project references, major exam tips (UPSR, PMR, SPM), world news and the latest trends.
The second best thing would be all the energy I have to live life to the max! I can go bungee jumping and play paintball for the whole day and still have enough energy to do some shopping at night. Being a youth, I can accomplish 60% of my wish list.
In terms of education, we are so blessed with all sorts of courses and colleges! (Not to mention the scholarships and workshops!)
I cannot predict the future and do not really want to think about what the world future would be like. Things happen. One minute the world seems right, the second minute, the world might be upside down. To worry about the future would just bring frowns, stress and more wrinkle lines to my face. We will know the future when it comes, then if things are going bad, I’ll start worry.
But I’m worried about my beloved planet. I do not want 2012 (the movie) to happen. Mankind will just perish. Inspired by movies like Lord of The Rings, Avatar, Robin Hood and all the other fantasy movies, I really don’t mind living in a world filled with greenery along with the already-there buildings of course. What I mean is that since we cannot shift or just bring down the buildings in the world, why not plant more trees and beautiful bushes and flowers around us? Why not plant something on every tiny inch of the world? Look at the roads now, there are always empty soil here and there, just waiting to giveaway its nutrients. So why not plant something there and make the world look more beautiful? (:
I don’t know about whether most youth are rebellious or not but I can say I am a little rebellious and so are a few of my friends. But I feel that in Asian culture, the youth still respect their elders and they wouldn’t rebel unless provoked countless of times. The youth in the past generations are very seldom rebellious compared to youth today. I may be rebellious but I have not rebelled greatly before. I would always try to find another way to solve the problems and rebelling will always be my last resort.
Harder. Why? All the pressure youth get.. *shakes head* Well, during my parents’ generation, they could play outside without worrying that there’s a kidnapper nearby. Youth today have to worry about a lot of things. We have to be extra careful of the sex maniacs, gangsters, kidnappers, serial killers and the list goes on.
Besides, youth are getting more pressured by people around us. My mum wouldn’t allow me to go to parties for a very long time. The worst part, when she comes to pick me up, automatically, I would receive a scolding/lecture about being at the party, what could have happened, and I shouldn’t make her wait so long etc. It makes me lose the party feeling. Although I know she means well, and I know the crime rate is getting higher by the day, I just feel deprived. Parties and hanging out with friends are the only times I can enlarge my social circle. After getting the same lecture a few times, I just stop going to parties. No matter how much I long to go to a party, I would simply not go. Very upsetting.
Conclusion – Youth today are getting more depressed, deprived and stressed.
My parents’ generation had less problems to deal with back then as they were not as exposed to the world as the youth today. So they have less stress than us. They lived their youth life without the word ‘worried’ written all over their faces. Youth today may have almost everything they need, but being able to choose from so many choices, the pressure and stress comes uninvited. Why? Cause one may like a few out of all the choices. But if one is only allowed to choose one.. Having to decide and having a deadline to it brings stress.
The dark. I’m always afraid of the dark. Afraid of what lurks under my bed and in the shadows. But as long I’m under my blanket, I’m fine. (:
Being hated by my class (for 3 consecutive years). That was when I was in primary school. I was the average looking girl who fought with her best friends. As time went by, none of us even remembered the argument. But then I was getting bullied by almost everyone in class and I didn’t know why. Luckily for me, there were a few that didn’t follow the crowd to hate me. They realized the rumours about me were fake. Thank god for that, or I would have died of loneliness. Anyway, this didn’t really teach me much, but 2 years later, I found out the real culprit who started spreading rumours about me was my best friend. I was stunned. That really hit me to the core. I was so naive and blur back then. I’ve learnt to be more alert and updated about on going rumours and events now (just in case). Not that I enjoy hearing rumours, but I learnt that if I do keep myself updated with rumours, I wouldn’t say the wrong things to people that might hurt them. I just have to keep in mind that I shouldn’t spread the rumour.
Family. I find that there aren’t many ‘true friends’ anymore.. Many seem to just come and go. I have close friends, but no best friends now.
As for family, well, blood is thicker than water. What else is more to say? (: Many times I had to make a choice between friends and family. Mum would always say, ‘you wanna play with your friends so much, go live with them then!’ Of course, she was joking.. But I took it seriously. I don’t want to live with my friends.. God knows what they might do with me.
Umm. I’m a food lover. Since I was a kid, I always tagged along with my mum to food reviews. Not all the time, but sufficient times to teach me to appreciate good food. I had my first taste of champagne when I was 9! (Note: Tasted, not drink) How many kids get to try that? I was so lucky. (:
About 2 years ago, my mum stopped using her office photographers and used me instead. She found out it was much easier to have me taking pictures of the restaurant and food. I’ve tried so many restaurants in KL and Selangor. Some are really good! Like High Tide, Sage, Samsaraa, Craft Brews, Yummy Duck and Sanook. I’ve tried so many kinds of dishes from all over the world! Best part is that I get to try yummy food while improving on my photography skills AND a new thing to post up on my blog! Killing 3 birds with one stone. Ain’t that great?
Another thing about me is that I write for Niexter. Niexter is a weekly pullout (Thursdays) in the News Straits Times. There are 8 pages of articles. All written by youths for youths. It only started January 2009.
Me and Jules at the Streets Fair 2009
Through Niexter, I have interviewed people who I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to meet in my life on my own. Like Mr Daud Vicary Abdullah from Deloitte. A German boy and I interviewed him about Islamic Banking. I interviewed Jules and Prem from the Fly FM Rush Hour as well! I also got a chance to meet up with the Indian Ambassador’s wife to talk about Deepavali and 3 Malaysian Philharmonic Youth Organisation (MPYO) members.
Breathing hard, she ran. All she wanted to do was to stop time and rethink the whole incident. She ran out of her house towards the big park nearby. When she reached the park, she slowed down and walked towards a huge palm tree. She lied on the freshly cut grass and closed her eyes.
She needed to think. She decided to rethink of all her priorities. She wants him and her friends. God didn’t seem to let her have both. Should she trust her new found love? She finds that he cares more than her friends do. I mean, who cares if she’s in trouble? He does. Her friends has too many other things to worry about.. Okay, one point for boyfriend.Who sees her more often? Oh my, he does. Almost everyday! She gets all the attention she wants. But her friends.. There isn’t just A friend. She has so many friends in school, yet none of them would pay full attention to her.. Another point for boyfriend. But friends know her longer than he does. They know her better. One point for friends. But she could do a lot more with him than her friends. She could learn to do ballroom dancing with him! One point for boyfriend.
She wanted to scream. How could she be so thoughtless! She shouldn’t have pushed him away.. He was too precious yet she almost broke his fragile heart. Her face felt hot and she started to cry. She missed him so badly, she felt cold without him. Especially on her birthday, she felt like committing suicide. Finally, she gathered her courage to call him.
‘Yeah..?’he said, in a monotonous voice.
Baby, um.. Listen.. I’m sorry.’
‘I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have hurt your feelings.. Can I make it up to you?’
‘I’ll buy you ice cream. We’ll talk about it. Let’s make things right. I miss you..’
‘Baskin Robbins in half an hour?’
‘Okay, babe. See you there.’
WOOT!She succeeded her first step. Now for her second step, to make it up to him. 20 minutes later, she arrived at Baskin Robbins to see him sitting there waiting. She quickly bought 2 scoops of mint ice cream and sat next to him on the comfy couch, offering him some mint ice cream. He was dressed in a black sweater with bermuda pants, just chilling. Just seeing his gorgeous face, she felt happier.
‘Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I know I should be more matured. I can’t believed I treated you like that.’
‘So are your friends more important than me?’
‘No. You are. I love you.’
‘I love you too. Promise there won’t be a next time?’
‘Me and you against the world, baby. Remember that.’
She did it, she made things right again. They both smiled at each other and went all corny. They hugged and kissed and finished their favourite ice cream together. They had such a lovely time. Before they went their separate ways, he pulled her against the wall and gave her the most passionate kiss. She never felt so energetic and loved before. They were iseparable. Nobody could break the bond between them. Nobody.
Year end came, and they were to go for his prom. Dressed in a while chiffon tube dress, she looked sweet. He, on the other hand, wore a double breasted suit with shades. Shades. Who wears shades to an indoor event? He was indeed weird. But she cared more about how handsome he looked. She was already imagining herself walking down the aisle and marrying the most beautiful man in the world. He was perfect. Back to reality, the prom was a blast for them. They had lovely dinner and danced together. They didn’t bother socializing and just enjoyed the company of each other. They were the ultimate lovebirds in prom.
But it wasn’t a real happy ending for them both. He was about to go on a long holiday with his family straight after prom. They were fine by it at first. They promised to keep in contact and kept sending emails to update each other. By day 3, they couldn’t take it.
He missed her too much. She missed him too much. They end up fighting. They fought worse than a cat and dog. He was too afraid that she’d cheat on him. As she was so afraid he’d forget her after he comes home. The fight they had was never ending. It wasn’t that they don’t trust each other, they were constantly worried about each other. She wants to see him so badly. Worse of all, she was still working at a clothes store and was being harrassed by her co worker. She was so stressed out, she needed him so badly. She couldn’t stop wondering what he thinks when he’s on his ‘lovely’ holiday.
Day 7 came, she was hoping they would stop fighting and look forward to see him. 3 more days, and he’s home. Day by day, she continued to work hard at the clothes shop. She made so much sales, even customers ask for her during her off days. Of course it didn’t mean she doesn’t care about her beloved boyfriend. She was confident that he loves her and would still be by her side. She couldn’t wait for New Year’s Eve. Her first date at night, with him alone.
This chapter seemed quite..not properly placed. Or maybe it’s just me? Anyway, thanks for the support people! Spread my blog to your friends! (;